Stairway To Valhalla

by Nanowar Of Steel

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cliff_burton
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cliff_burton The best love ballad EVER :D Favorite track: ... And Then I Noticed That She Was A Gargoyle.
Kirk
Kirk thumbnail
Kirk Finding new uses for screwdrivers since 2005. Favorite track: Images and Swords.
Jeremie
Jeremie thumbnail
Jeremie This album is such a masterpiece that even who doesn't listen to metal loves it. The tracks are already in the history, next to great songs like "Master of puppets", "Painkiller", "Lambada", etc..

Bravi! Complimenti davvero!! Favorite track: In The Sky.
osukaani
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osukaani Very fun album, Can´t believe you guys managed to join forces with Fabio. Liking this album more than "Into Gay Pride Ride", waiting for the new master piece in 2026 Favorite track: Heavy Metal Kibbles.
lucidatrix
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lucidatrix Gli 8 euro meglio spesi su bandcamp! Avete dato un senso alla mia laurea in finanza, grazie 😍 Favorite track: Tooth Fairy.
finaldaniel89
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finaldaniel89 Amo Fabio Lione. Cantante eccezionale. Mio preferito in assoluto Favorite track: Barbie, MILF Princess Of The Twilight (feat. Fabio Lione).
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about

credits

released November 9, 2018

The bulk of the album's recording session took place at Ivorytears Studios in several phases from June 2016 to August 2017. It was produced, mixed and mastered by Alessandro Del Vecchio, who also contributed as a guest singer in "Hail To Liechtenstein" and keyboard player (wherever they are on the album).

Further credits go to Christian Ice (Temple of Noise Studios, album pre-production, intros & sketches, dubstep on "Opelatole Ecologico"), Marco Sivo (Shelter Recording Studios, choir recordings), Andrea Seveso (guitar editing) and Simone D'Andrea (bass arrangement).

We also thank Fabio Lione (Angra, Rhapsody of Luca Turilli of Fire or whatever it's called that band nowadays) for his contribution in "Barbie MILF Princess Of The Twilight"; Chiara Manese
Ylenia Soprano & Eleonora Penati for the choirs on "... and then I noticed that she was a Gargoyle"; the latter of whom is also responsible for the backing vocals on "Uranus".

Cover & booklet by our mighty singer Potowotominimak (Carlo Alberto Fiaschi), back & cover colouring by Giorgia Lanza (www.giorgialanza.it), album photos by Marco Dazzi (www.marcodazzi.it).

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Nanowar Of Steel Rome, Italy

Parody Metal Band from Rome, Italy, since 2003

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Track Name: Declination
Rosa, Rosae, Rosae!
Rosam, Rosa, Rosa!
Rosae, Rosarum, Rosis
Rosas, Rosae, Rosis!

Consecutio temporum
Hic Haec Hoc - Cip et Ciop
Quorum, referendum
Grattatio pallorum
Hi, Hae, Haec - Qui Quo Qua
Omnia pericula fugit

Rex, regis, regi, regem
Dragonum ad personam
Reges, Regum, Regibus,Reges
Eiacula iacta est
Domus, domus, domui, domum
Intro rapsodorum
Domus, domum, domibus, domos,
Do ut sex

Spes spei, spei, SPEM!
Track Name: Barbie, MILF Princess Of The Twilight (feat. Fabio Lione)
Wonderful lady of charming might
Of mystic accessories and vintage revolving light
A sorceress trapped in a luxury spa
Unleash the bucolic adventures that my camper yields
Hair in the wind
Mould the horizons
Shining blue eyes
Forest and lakes
Yes, I am a Barbie

Emerald, Emmenthal
Fontina, Taleggio, Madre Stagionata nel tempo!

Princess of the twilight!
No hole between your cheeks
Driving glamour SUVs with fashion style and steel

Barbie, MILF princess of the twilight
The mistress of the moonlight
With botox made in China by Mattel
Barbie, your boobs of carbon-iron
Beguile the Dino-Sauron
With Dildo faggins always at your side

Barbie, barbie, princess of the twilight
Candles in the Winx!
Barbie, barbie, princess of the twilight
Brazzers in the Braz

Raise to the sky mighty handbags of amber
Hail to the gods with your iron lip gloss
Seize the bargains of Black Friday in November
To reach for the thong made of dental floss
Comb with power your mighty hairstyle
On my little pony you fly
With your poisonous lipstick you’ll kill’em all
To reach the divine shopping mall
Ride the uniporn!
Raperonzolo!
So trendy you’ll fight
The fashiongods pantheon will be your guide

Princess of the twilight!
No nipples on your tits
Polly Pocket wants a Cracker like Cobain once said!

Barbie, MILF princess of the twilight
The mistress of the moonlight
With botox made in China by Mattel
Barbie, your legs enshrine the power
To entrap the black lord’s tower
But not before he buys you a fur coat!

Barbie Mordor, Barbie cobaltum
Barbie flamethrower, Barbie papà
Barbie napalm, Barbie Rob halford
Barbie Turilli, Barbie turics!

Barbie dungeon, Barbie and dragons
Barbie warhammer, Barbie WoW
Barbie the magic, Barbie the gathering
Unholy Warcraft!

Emerald, Emmenthal
Cortina d’Ampezzo, Jerry Calà in controtempo

Maraca – Barbie, MILF princess of the twilight
The mistress of the moonlight
With botox made in China by Mattel
Barbie, your boobs of carbon-iron
Beguile the Dino-Sauron
With Dildo faggins always at your side
Track Name: Heavy Metal Kibbles
Crispy! Tasty! Nasty!
Spicy and dry
Nutritious! Delicious! Nectarous!
Sweet delight
Salty! Ethnic! Proteinic!
With phenylalanine
Mellow! Feeding! Refreshing!
Enhancing your feline

Chicken power pet’s desire
Make your “Kitty” become
A bloodthirsty nightcrawler of doom
With the heavy metal

Kibbles Kibbles
Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!

Taurine! Heroin! Urine!
And a pinch of salt
Rat sauce! Mouse sauce! Mao sauce!
To feed the revolt

Strong and nutrient, taste of Nutria
Let your “Stinky“ become
A cobold dragon slayer with fire resistance +10
With the heavy meow-tal

Kibbles Kibbles
Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!

Blaze of catnip, iron pic-nic
Make your “Mittens” drive your car
He will also wash your clothes
Take you out to pee in the park!

Kibbles Kibbles
Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!
Track Name: L'Opelatole Ecologico
Protettor dei marciapiedi? Ma-ki è, ma-ki è?
Ninja dell'igiene? Chi sarà, chi sarà?
Shogun dei cassonetti? Dicci un po', dicci un po'?

È l’opelatole ecologico!
È l'opelatole ecologico!

Affronta i mozziconi e pulisce il marciapiede
Nel suo camion-cassonetto Sol-levante
Ogni fogliaccia trema al suo passaggio immantinente
Per il suo Kimono catarifrangente

Lui divora spazzatura ricoperta di tempura
Il detrito spazza via con lo Tsunami
Arigato la fiancata, della vettura mal parcheggiata
Che del rifiuto impediva la rimozion

Mozziconi! Mozziconi!
Harakiri! Kiricori!
Fogliaccioni! Fogliaccioni
Compost

Non sporcare la città con la tua incuria
Altrimenti incapperai nella sua furia
Se orini dal balcone, se il tuo cane fa un ricordino
Presto l'ira invereconda assaggerai... del

Netturbino! Prode samurai
Netturbino! Marciapiede in the sky
Netturbino! Sul camion ti aggrappi
Per un futuro più eco-sostenibile

Sushi-ta rispetto e terrore tra i bidoni
Con la sua magica ka-tana libera tutti
Rimuove anche nakagata, al grido di BANZAI
Con la sua fida scopa samurai

Non sporcare la città con la tua incuria
Altrimenti incapperai nella sua furia
Seppuku puku lo fai incazzare
Se lo scambi per mandarino
Dalla carta ti separerà perché... è un ninja

Netturbino! Ninjenizza per noi
Netturbino! Immondizia awaits
Netturbino! Sul camion ti aggrappi
Per un futuro più eco-sostenibile di prima

Lotta per le aziende municipalizzate
Di raccolta di rifiuti
Anche se a volte lo Shogun controlla gli appalti...
Netturbino, tu, come dire...

Mozziconi! Mozziconi!
Harakiri! Kiricori!
Fogliaccioni! Fogliaccioni
Accannate co' sti cori!

Non sporcare la città con la tua incuria
Altrimenti incapperai nella sua furia
Se orini dal balcone, se il tuo cane fa un ricordino
Presto l'ira invereconda assaggerai...
Non sporcare la città con la tua incuria
Altrimenti incapperai nella sua furia
Seppuku puku lo fai incazzare
Se lo scambi per mandarino
Dalla carta ti separerà perché... è un ninja

Netturbino! Prode samurai
Netturbino! Marciapiede in the sky
Netturbino! Sul camion ti aggrappi
Per un futuro che sarà eco-sostenibile a go-go

Ma finisce così la canzone?
No!
Track Name: In The Sky
Fire in the sky
Firefighters in the sky
To extinguish the fire in the sky

Air in the sky
Apple in the sky
Chasing Steve Jobs in the sky

Lucy in the sky,
John Lennon in the sky
George Harrison is also in the sky!

Ride and fly high, high, high, high
Very very high, in the sky!
The ladder in the sky
Is better than the stairway to heaven
Forever and ever in the sky!

Clouds in the sky
Bad weather in the sky
Umbrella shields the rain from the sky

Sun in the sky
Moon in the sky
The whole solar system in the sky
HAARP in the sky
Chem trails in the sky
The sky is conspiring in the sky
Ride and fly high, high, high, high
Very very high, in the sky!
To be in the sky
Is better than not to be in the sky
Forever and ever in the sky!
Track Name: Tooth Fairy
Floating in the night on your butterfly wings
Sneaking in the room while the infant is asleep
Eye for an eye, coin for a tooth
Tooth Fairy, do you know
The financial impact of your deeds?

Did anybody tell you that by inflating money supply
You’re distorting the structure of production?
Did anybody tell you that P*Q=M*V
You’re responsible for the rise of the interest rates!

Tooth Fairy, your policies are inflationary
Like a helicopter drop
Your donations push up aggregate demand
Thanks to a higher MPC
Wiping out the wealth of the middle class, Tooth Fairy
Stop it! In the name of the Central Bank!

There’s no such thing as a risk-free asset
When you are around
The Wall street journal sharply criticized
Your expansionary policies
The FED chairman Yellen claims
That you're breaking your mandate
Tooth fairy, you are fucking anticonstitutional!

Did you know the treasury is emitting
CPI-indexed bonds
To counteract your inflationary pressure
Your plan to destabilize the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela with double digit inflation
Is now public domain

Tooth Fairy
Your policies are inflationary
Like a helicopter drop
Your donations push up aggregate demand
Thanks to a higher MPC
Wiping out the wealth of the middle class, Tooth Fairy
Stop it! In the name of the Philip’s curve

Mario Dragons already stated
He’ll do everything it takes
To shield the Eurozone from your speculative attack!

You are committed to higher inflation rates
Why, oh why?
The Nobel Laureate Paul Krugman
Is on your side!

QE1 QE2, the lender of last resort is you
QE3 QE4, increase M1 even more!

You bail out children
By buying their junk teeth at face value
You're the TARP of the human body!

Tooth Fairy, your policies are inflationary
Like a helicopter drop
Your donations push up aggregate demand
Thanks to a higher MPC
Wiping out the wealth of the middle class, Tooth Fairy
Stop it! In the name of the Taylor's rule
Track Name: Vegan Velociraptor
He drives his eco-friendly Tesla Motors police-tank
Non-disposable hero, in a cloak made of hemp
Lethal cereal killer completely sugar free
Drowning enemies in pots of herbal tea

It's known that a lentil-based diet
Is the cause of a strong flatulence
His bum pollutes with CO2
So bears abandon the arctic too
And deserve it 'cos they eat fish anyway

Aaaah! Vegan Velociraptor
Broccolini hunter, saviour of the environment
Aaaah! Vegan Velociraptor
Fighting speciesism and reversing the food chain

Sheriff of the livestock against animal abuse
Replacing choco milkshakes with lime and carrot juice
But he's got to be careful when patrolling the town
As the carnivorous cow's lurking around

In league with the Bacon Street Boys
She feeds cattle with meat and steroids
Blended with opium and bamboo
Bovines become addicted too
Turning into narco-prostitutes

Aaaah! Vegan Velociraptor
You zucchini butcher, mother nature's playful friend
Aaaah! Vegan Velociraptor
Fighting speciesism and reversing the food chain

On a bad day took place a very bad thing
As this very bad cow and her very bad crew
Very impolitely raped a young groundhog
Named George W. Sanchez

There came Gargamellor the moderate T-Rex,
Complaining ‘bout the gang's inappropriate ways
But the evil bovines went berserk and devoured him alive

Mild Gargamellor! Polite Gargamellor!
Taxpayer Gargamellor! “Cowfood” Gargamellor!

George W. Sanchez! Poor bullying victim
George W. Sanchez! Your ass bled for us all
George W. Sanchez...

Vegan Velociraptor:
Damn you, ill-bred evildoers
I hereby declare you under arrest
You killed my friend Gargamellor
And impolitely raped Herr W. Sanchez
You have the right to remain silent
You have the right to an attorney,
Anything you say can and will be used
Against you in a court of law

Carnivorous Cow:
I'll exctinct you, filthy dromaeosaurid,
Your days are numbered, you're about to die!
You entered the wrong jurisdiction,
'Cos the law enforced here is the Bill Of Rights
That grants the right to rape a groundhog (impolitely)
Or grants the right to eat a T-Rex
But grants the right to do both of the above
If one is called George W. Sanchez!

That said the cow launched her assault
Hitting his throat with a turbo-flying kick
VV was counterattacking
Firing with bullets made out of soy beans

Until the cow took a secret potion, to prevail over the dinosaur

A mixture of prions and elephant scurf that made her... Invincible!

Contracting "Mad Cow Disease" and hence being
Slaughtered by the FDA authorities

Still drives an eco-friendly Tesla Motors police-tank
The vice mayor promoted him to a prestigious rank
Liutenant of seitan brigadier of seeds
Feldmarshall of the cruelty free recipes

His macrobiotic meals
Enriched with proteinic pills
Drowned in a sea of rice and soy
Fill everyone with peace and joy
But not Sanchez, still bleeding from his ass

Aaaah! Vegan velociraptor
Slaughterer of eggplants, Jurassic animalist
Aaaah! Vegan Velociraptor
Fighting speciesism and reversing the food chain
Aaaah! Vegan velociraptor
Broccolini hunter, saviour of the environment
Aaaah! Vegan Velociraptor
Fighting speciesism and reversing the food chain

Here comes the meteorite!
Track Name: Ironmonger (The Copier Of The Seven Keys)
Master of the allen wrench
Riding a mighty lawnmower for revenge
In the realm of the screws he’s the king
And Lord of the Towel Rings

Edison of the lightbulb
Leonardo of the shower tray
Renzo Piano of the gas pipes
David Hasselhoff of the glue
Einstein of the screwdriver
Plato of the kick plates
Hemingway of the instructions
Translated into Dutch

Bricolage! With the power of Black & Decker
Bricolage! And the magic of Leroy Merlin
Bricolage! Praise the wisdom of Rowenta
In the name of the almighty Bosch!

Hail to the affordable Ironmonger
Prophet of bricolage of the last eclipse
Purchase cutting edge items at the Ironmonger's
Ineffable copier of the seven keys
You’re the Spongebob of promotions on the glue!

Warlock of the doorknob of steel
Wizard of the doorlock of hell
Baywatcher of the batteries' polarity
Hobgoblin of the customer satisfaction

Heart of utensil
On your ear there’s a pencil
No one can outcompete your trueness
in the retail sellers branch
You also sell mosquito nets
In the tropical regions
But not DDT anymore
For international restrictions

Hail to the affordable Ironmonger
Prophet of bricolage of the last eclipse
Purchase cutting edge items at the Ironmonger's
Ineffable copier of the seven keys
You’re the bishop of the offers on the nails!

The hammer of Thor
The scalpel of Thor
The screwdriver of Thor
The lifepreserver of Thor
The cousin of Thor
The grandfather of Thor
The boyfriend of David Hasseloff

Hail to the affordable Ironmonger
Prophet of bricolage of the last eclipse
Purchase cutting edge items at the Ironmonger's
Ineffable copier of the seven keys
And this song is all about David Hasselof!
Track Name: Uranus
I like it big, I like it cold
I like it blue, I like it bold
I like it with a two % of methane
It’s Uranus!

I want it icy, I want it large
I want it spicy, with electric charge
Fluid outside and rocky inside
Like Uranus!

Pluto, Pluto
You're cold and far, not even a planet
Venus, Venus
Too much CO2!
Mars, Mars, Mars, Mars
Ain't enough magnetosphere
There's only a place where I wanna go!
I'm gonna head right to Uranus

Uranus, Uranus
Coz I’m an astronomy aficionado
I wanna observe Uranus
Uranus, Uranus
My shuttle's fast like a torpedo
It's gonna pierce Uranus

A 6.2 inch telescope
Held in Willam Herschel's hands
Allowed the world to see how wide
Is Uranus!

No more a hobby, for the few
Thanks to the astro-amateurs
Now everyone can enjoy the view
Of Uranus!

Saturn, Saturn
Your rings vibrate and I hesitate
Jupiter, Jupiter
It's gassy and brown
Neptune, Neptune
A huge Calippo too big to swallow
There's only a place where we can go!
I gotta settle on Uranus

Uranus, Uranus
I'm solar system's peeping Tom
I wanna stare at Uranus
Uranus, Uranus
An old joke still deserves a song
So sing along “Give me Uranus!”

The highest goal of humankind, the search for different forms of life
I’ll send my probe, Voyeur 2, 19 AUs deep into

Uranus, Uranus
Coz I’m an astronomy aficionado
I wanna explore Uranus
Uranus, Uranus
My shuttle left like a torpedo
It's gonna land on Uranus
I wanna dive in Uranus
Gonna colon-ize Uranus
Track Name: The Quest for Carrefour
Odin, Thor, Frey and Loki
Under the banner of Camembert
Drinking with onion and pride
Hydromel and 7Up!
Welcome where skewers stands still
Welcome to the barbecue of the Gods
The Barbecue of the Gods

But as the champagne they uncorked
The prophecy was fulfilled
Sauron the master of the onion rings
Made all of our barbecue sauce expire
So they sent us on a hunt for the grocery store
But then we lost our way

We were lost on our quest for Carrefour
Searching for the gourmet barbecue sauce!

Oh they'll be lost forevermore

One Onion Ring to appetize them all
One Onion Ring to main dish them all
One Onion Ring to garnish them all
And in the plat du jour bind’ em all
(he’s dangerous)
One Onion Ring to grease them all
One Onion Ring to gormandize them all
One Onion Ring to fatten them and bind’ em there
In the land where the obese lie

We will find a way
To destroy the onion ring
Dip it in the Bourguignonne
An offer to the picnic gods
Yes we will find the way
To spread fromage de chevre
On our baguette
And finally move on to the dessert!

We were lost on our quest for Carrefour
Searching for the gourmet barbecue sauce!
Will we ever reach the counters?
Will they accept our Mastercard?
Will we ever cross the sliding doors?
Will we ever come back home again?

Still I smell the scent of skewers
Cucify! Crucify!
Still I hear the screams of thousands
Roastify! Roastify!

One day we will taste the delicious
Michelin awarded creme chantilly
Made by careful and knowledgable hands of Frigg
With a ancient runic receipe

We were lost on our quest for Carrefour
Searching for the holy barbecue sauce!
Track Name: Hail to Liechtenstein
Raise sails, head to the open sea
Under captain Schettino's command
Heeding the proud and stuttering call
Of Pippi Longstocking and Saddam Hussein

From Cape Town, through lake Baikal
Across Castel di Sangro
To the enchanted valleys of European Alps
Where reptilians play Subbuteo with Bush

Cows, fire, demons – you cannot stop our march
Piggybacking Eddie Murphy into Liechtenstein

Hail to Liechtenstein! Hail to Liechtenstein!
Hail to Liechtenstein!

We bought a swiss motorway vignette
To drive through the A13
Avoiding the checks of the border patrol
To be free from customs control

Dribbling the sight of old passersby
Riding to downtown Schaan,
While the busty Liechtensteinerinnen
Still inspire us with onanist dreams

Our journey's over, and the hardships now are gone
Flying free on Hawking wheelchairs to Liechtenstein

Hail to Liechtenstein! Hail to Liechtenstein!
Hail to Liechtenstein!

The highest GDP per person in the world
Adjusting by purchase power parity
An unemployment rate so ridiculously low
It's just 1.5%
Levying a flat income tax
And a loose corporate fiscal regime
Under the sign of the Financial Intelligence Unit
Fighting laundering and capital flight
Fürstentum Liechtenstein

Fürstentum Liechtenstein
A business-friendly country you are

Prince Hans Adam! For the permit we'll apply
To gain timeless residence in Liechtenstein!

Hail to Liechtenstein! Hail to Liechtenstein!
Hail to Liechtenstein!

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