Stairway To Valhalla

by Nanowar Of Steel

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Original First Printing of the 2018 Album - Digipack CD

    Includes unlimited streaming of Stairway To Valhalla via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Double LP including Stairway To Valhalla + Uranus feat. Michael Starr., limited edition.
    Comes in Blue or Red color

    Bonus CD includes:

    1. Valhalleluja (feat. Angus Mc Fife)
    2. Sottosegretari alla Presidenza della Repubblica del True Metal (feat. Gli Atroci)
    3. Norwegian Reggaeton (feat. Charly Glamour)
    4. Bestie di Seitan (feat. Maurizio Merluzzo)
    5. Sneeztem of a Yawn
    6. A Cena da Gianni
    7. Kurograd (feat. Asen Kralev)
    8. Esce ma non mi Rosica (Shahram Shabpareh cover)
    9. Deep Throat Revolution (Immanuel Casto cover, feat. Immanuel Casto)
    10. Norwegian Reggaeton (Andrew Consoli Remix)

    Includes unlimited streaming of Stairway To Valhalla via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    The Napalm reissue includes the new version of Uranus feat. Michael Starr and a bonus CD with the following tracks:

    STAIRWAY TO VALHALLA (Bonus CD)
    1. Valhalleluja (feat. Angus Mc Fife)
    2. Sottosegretari alla Presidenza della Repubblica del True Metal (feat. Gli Atroci)
    3. Norwegian Reggaeton (feat. Charly Glamour)
    4. Bestie di Seitan (feat. Maurizio Merluzzo)
    5. Sneeztem of a Yawn
    6. A Cena da Gianni
    7. Kurograd (feat. Asen Kralev)
    8. Esce ma non mi Rosica (Shahram Shabpareh cover)
    9. Deep Throat Revolution (Immanuel Casto cover, feat. Immanuel Casto)
    10. Norwegian Reggaeton (Andrew Consoli Remix)

    Includes unlimited streaming of Stairway To Valhalla via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 30 days

      €16.99 EUR or more 

     

1.
Declination 01:13
Rosa, Rosae, Rosae! Rosam, Rosa, Rosa! Rosae, Rosarum, Rosis Rosas, Rosae, Rosis! Consecutio temporum Hic Haec Hoc - Cip et Ciop Quorum, referendum Grattatio pallorum Hi, Hae, Haec - Qui Quo Qua Omnia pericula fugit Rex, regis, regi, regem Dragonum ad personam Reges, Regum, Regibus,Reges Eiacula iacta est Domus, domus, domui, domum Intro rapsodorum Domus, domum, domibus, domos, Do ut sex Spes spei, spei, SPEM!
2.
Wonderful lady of charming might Of mystic accessories and vintage revolving light A sorceress trapped in a luxury spa Unleash the bucolic adventures that my camper yields Hair in the wind Mould the horizons Shining blue eyes Forest and lakes Yes, I am a Barbie Emerald, Emmenthal Fontina, Taleggio, Madre Stagionata nel tempo! Princess of the twilight! No hole between your cheeks Driving glamour SUVs with fashion style and steel Barbie, MILF princess of the twilight The mistress of the moonlight With botox made in China by Mattel Barbie, your boobs of carbon-iron Beguile the Dino-Sauron With Dildo faggins always at your side Barbie, barbie, princess of the twilight Candles in the Winx! Barbie, barbie, princess of the twilight Brazzers in the Braz Raise to the sky mighty handbags of amber Hail to the gods with your iron lip gloss Seize the bargains of Black Friday in November To reach for the thong made of dental floss Comb with power your mighty hairstyle On my little pony you fly With your poisonous lipstick you’ll kill’em all To reach the divine shopping mall Ride the uniporn! Raperonzolo! So trendy you’ll fight The fashiongods pantheon will be your guide Princess of the twilight! No nipples on your tits Polly Pocket wants a Cracker like Cobain once said! Barbie, MILF princess of the twilight The mistress of the moonlight With botox made in China by Mattel Barbie, your legs enshrine the power To entrap the black lord’s tower But not before he buys you a fur coat! Barbie Mordor, Barbie cobaltum Barbie flamethrower, Barbie papà Barbie napalm, Barbie Rob halford Barbie Turilli, Barbie turics! Barbie dungeon, Barbie and dragons Barbie warhammer, Barbie WoW Barbie the magic, Barbie the gathering Unholy Warcraft! Emerald, Emmenthal Cortina d’Ampezzo, Jerry Calà in controtempo Maraca – Barbie, MILF princess of the twilight The mistress of the moonlight With botox made in China by Mattel Barbie, your boobs of carbon-iron Beguile the Dino-Sauron With Dildo faggins always at your side
3.
4.
Crispy! Tasty! Nasty! Spicy and dry Nutritious! Delicious! Nectarous! Sweet delight Salty! Ethnic! Proteinic! With phenylalanine Mellow! Feeding! Refreshing! Enhancing your feline Chicken power pet’s desire Make your “Kitty” become A bloodthirsty nightcrawler of doom With the heavy metal Kibbles Kibbles Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Taurine! Heroin! Urine! And a pinch of salt Rat sauce! Mouse sauce! Mao sauce! To feed the revolt Strong and nutrient, taste of Nutria Let your “Stinky“ become A cobold dragon slayer with fire resistance +10 With the heavy meow-tal Kibbles Kibbles Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Blaze of catnip, iron pic-nic Make your “Mittens” drive your car He will also wash your clothes Take you out to pee in the park! Kibbles Kibbles Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!
5.
6.
Protettor dei marciapiedi? Ma-ki è, ma-ki è? Ninja dell'igiene? Chi sarà, chi sarà? Shogun dei cassonetti? Dicci un po', dicci un po'? È l’opelatole ecologico! È l'opelatole ecologico! Affronta i mozziconi e pulisce il marciapiede Nel suo camion-cassonetto Sol-levante Ogni fogliaccia trema al suo passaggio immantinente Per il suo Kimono catarifrangente Lui divora spazzatura ricoperta di tempura Il detrito spazza via con lo Tsunami Arigato la fiancata, della vettura mal parcheggiata Che del rifiuto impediva la rimozion Mozziconi! Mozziconi! Harakiri! Kiricori! Fogliaccioni! Fogliaccioni Compost Non sporcare la città con la tua incuria Altrimenti incapperai nella sua furia Se orini dal balcone, se il tuo cane fa un ricordino Presto l'ira invereconda assaggerai... del Netturbino! Prode samurai Netturbino! Marciapiede in the sky Netturbino! Sul camion ti aggrappi Per un futuro più eco-sostenibile Sushi-ta rispetto e terrore tra i bidoni Con la sua magica ka-tana libera tutti Rimuove anche nakagata, al grido di BANZAI Con la sua fida scopa samurai Non sporcare la città con la tua incuria Altrimenti incapperai nella sua furia Seppuku puku lo fai incazzare Se lo scambi per mandarino Dalla carta ti separerà perché... è un ninja Netturbino! Ninjenizza per noi Netturbino! Immondizia awaits Netturbino! Sul camion ti aggrappi Per un futuro più eco-sostenibile di prima Lotta per le aziende municipalizzate Di raccolta di rifiuti Anche se a volte lo Shogun controlla gli appalti... Netturbino, tu, come dire... Mozziconi! Mozziconi! Harakiri! Kiricori! Fogliaccioni! Fogliaccioni Accannate co' sti cori! Non sporcare la città con la tua incuria Altrimenti incapperai nella sua furia Se orini dal balcone, se il tuo cane fa un ricordino Presto l'ira invereconda assaggerai... Non sporcare la città con la tua incuria Altrimenti incapperai nella sua furia Seppuku puku lo fai incazzare Se lo scambi per mandarino Dalla carta ti separerà perché... è un ninja Netturbino! Prode samurai Netturbino! Marciapiede in the sky Netturbino! Sul camion ti aggrappi Per un futuro che sarà eco-sostenibile a go-go Ma finisce così la canzone? No!
7.
8.
In The Sky 03:30
Fire in the sky Firefighters in the sky To extinguish the fire in the sky Air in the sky Apple in the sky Chasing Steve Jobs in the sky Lucy in the sky, John Lennon in the sky George Harrison is also in the sky! Ride and fly high, high, high, high Very very high, in the sky! The ladder in the sky Is better than the stairway to heaven Forever and ever in the sky! Clouds in the sky Bad weather in the sky Umbrella shields the rain from the sky Sun in the sky Moon in the sky The whole solar system in the sky HAARP in the sky Chem trails in the sky The sky is conspiring in the sky Ride and fly high, high, high, high Very very high, in the sky! To be in the sky Is better than not to be in the sky Forever and ever in the sky!
9.
10.
Tooth Fairy 04:57
Floating in the night on your butterfly wings Sneaking in the room while the infant is asleep Eye for an eye, coin for a tooth Tooth Fairy, do you know The financial impact of your deeds? Did anybody tell you that by inflating money supply You’re distorting the structure of production? Did anybody tell you that P*Q=M*V You’re responsible for the rise of the interest rates! Tooth Fairy, your policies are inflationary Like a helicopter drop Your donations push up aggregate demand Thanks to a higher MPC Wiping out the wealth of the middle class, Tooth Fairy Stop it! In the name of the Central Bank! There’s no such thing as a risk-free asset When you are around The Wall street journal sharply criticized Your expansionary policies The FED chairman Yellen claims That you're breaking your mandate Tooth fairy, you are fucking anticonstitutional! Did you know the treasury is emitting CPI-indexed bonds To counteract your inflationary pressure Your plan to destabilize the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela with double digit inflation Is now public domain Tooth Fairy Your policies are inflationary Like a helicopter drop Your donations push up aggregate demand Thanks to a higher MPC Wiping out the wealth of the middle class, Tooth Fairy Stop it! In the name of the Philip’s curve Mario Dragons already stated He’ll do everything it takes To shield the Eurozone from your speculative attack! You are committed to higher inflation rates Why, oh why? The Nobel Laureate Paul Krugman Is on your side! QE1 QE2, the lender of last resort is you QE3 QE4, increase M1 even more! You bail out children By buying their junk teeth at face value You're the TARP of the human body! Tooth Fairy, your policies are inflationary Like a helicopter drop Your donations push up aggregate demand Thanks to a higher MPC Wiping out the wealth of the middle class, Tooth Fairy Stop it! In the name of the Taylor's rule
11.
He drives his eco-friendly Tesla Motors police-tank Non-disposable hero, in a cloak made of hemp Lethal cereal killer completely sugar free Drowning enemies in pots of herbal tea It's known that a lentil-based diet Is the cause of a strong flatulence His bum pollutes with CO2 So bears abandon the arctic too And deserve it 'cos they eat fish anyway Aaaah! Vegan Velociraptor Broccolini hunter, saviour of the environment Aaaah! Vegan Velociraptor Fighting speciesism and reversing the food chain Sheriff of the livestock against animal abuse Replacing choco milkshakes with lime and carrot juice But he's got to be careful when patrolling the town As the carnivorous cow's lurking around In league with the Bacon Street Boys She feeds cattle with meat and steroids Blended with opium and bamboo Bovines become addicted too Turning into narco-prostitutes Aaaah! Vegan Velociraptor You zucchini butcher, mother nature's playful friend Aaaah! Vegan Velociraptor Fighting speciesism and reversing the food chain On a bad day took place a very bad thing As this very bad cow and her very bad crew Very impolitely raped a young groundhog Named George W. Sanchez There came Gargamellor the moderate T-Rex, Complaining ‘bout the gang's inappropriate ways But the evil bovines went berserk and devoured him alive Mild Gargamellor! Polite Gargamellor! Taxpayer Gargamellor! “Cowfood” Gargamellor! George W. Sanchez! Poor bullying victim George W. Sanchez! Your ass bled for us all George W. Sanchez... Vegan Velociraptor: Damn you, ill-bred evildoers I hereby declare you under arrest You killed my friend Gargamellor And impolitely raped Herr W. Sanchez You have the right to remain silent You have the right to an attorney, Anything you say can and will be used Against you in a court of law Carnivorous Cow: I'll exctinct you, filthy dromaeosaurid, Your days are numbered, you're about to die! You entered the wrong jurisdiction, 'Cos the law enforced here is the Bill Of Rights That grants the right to rape a groundhog (impolitely) Or grants the right to eat a T-Rex But grants the right to do both of the above If one is called George W. Sanchez! That said the cow launched her assault Hitting his throat with a turbo-flying kick VV was counterattacking Firing with bullets made out of soy beans Until the cow took a secret potion, to prevail over the dinosaur A mixture of prions and elephant scurf that made her... Invincible! Contracting "Mad Cow Disease" and hence being Slaughtered by the FDA authorities Still drives an eco-friendly Tesla Motors police-tank The vice mayor promoted him to a prestigious rank Liutenant of seitan brigadier of seeds Feldmarshall of the cruelty free recipes His macrobiotic meals Enriched with proteinic pills Drowned in a sea of rice and soy Fill everyone with peace and joy But not Sanchez, still bleeding from his ass Aaaah! Vegan velociraptor Slaughterer of eggplants, Jurassic animalist Aaaah! Vegan Velociraptor Fighting speciesism and reversing the food chain Aaaah! Vegan velociraptor Broccolini hunter, saviour of the environment Aaaah! Vegan Velociraptor Fighting speciesism and reversing the food chain Here comes the meteorite!
12.
13.
Master of the allen wrench Riding a mighty lawnmower for revenge In the realm of the screws he’s the king And Lord of the Towel Rings Edison of the lightbulb Leonardo of the shower tray Renzo Piano of the gas pipes David Hasselhoff of the glue Einstein of the screwdriver Plato of the kick plates Hemingway of the instructions Translated into Dutch Bricolage! With the power of Black & Decker Bricolage! And the magic of Leroy Merlin Bricolage! Praise the wisdom of Rowenta In the name of the almighty Bosch! Hail to the affordable Ironmonger Prophet of bricolage of the last eclipse Purchase cutting edge items at the Ironmonger's Ineffable copier of the seven keys You’re the Spongebob of promotions on the glue! Warlock of the doorknob of steel Wizard of the doorlock of hell Baywatcher of the batteries' polarity Hobgoblin of the customer satisfaction Heart of utensil On your ear there’s a pencil No one can outcompete your trueness in the retail sellers branch You also sell mosquito nets In the tropical regions But not DDT anymore For international restrictions Hail to the affordable Ironmonger Prophet of bricolage of the last eclipse Purchase cutting edge items at the Ironmonger's Ineffable copier of the seven keys You’re the bishop of the offers on the nails! The hammer of Thor The scalpel of Thor The screwdriver of Thor The lifepreserver of Thor The cousin of Thor The grandfather of Thor The boyfriend of David Hasseloff Hail to the affordable Ironmonger Prophet of bricolage of the last eclipse Purchase cutting edge items at the Ironmonger's Ineffable copier of the seven keys And this song is all about David Hasselof!
14.
Bum Voyage 00:32
15.
Uranus 04:13
I like it big, I like it cold I like it blue, I like it bold I like it with a two % of methane It’s Uranus! I want it icy, I want it large I want it spicy, with electric charge Fluid outside and rocky inside Like Uranus! Pluto, Pluto You're cold and far, not even a planet Venus, Venus Too much CO2! Mars, Mars, Mars, Mars Ain't enough magnetosphere There's only a place where I wanna go! I'm gonna head right to Uranus Uranus, Uranus Coz I’m an astronomy aficionado I wanna observe Uranus Uranus, Uranus My shuttle's fast like a torpedo It's gonna pierce Uranus A 6.2 inch telescope Held in Willam Herschel's hands Allowed the world to see how wide Is Uranus! No more a hobby, for the few Thanks to the astro-amateurs Now everyone can enjoy the view Of Uranus! Saturn, Saturn Your rings vibrate and I hesitate Jupiter, Jupiter It's gassy and brown Neptune, Neptune A huge Calippo too big to swallow There's only a place where we can go! I gotta settle on Uranus Uranus, Uranus I'm solar system's peeping Tom I wanna stare at Uranus Uranus, Uranus An old joke still deserves a song So sing along “Give me Uranus!” The highest goal of humankind, the search for different forms of life I’ll send my probe, Voyeur 2, 19 AUs deep into Uranus, Uranus Coz I’m an astronomy aficionado I wanna explore Uranus Uranus, Uranus My shuttle left like a torpedo It's gonna land on Uranus I wanna dive in Uranus Gonna colon-ize Uranus
16.
17.
Odin, Thor, Frey and Loki Under the banner of Camembert Drinking with onion and pride Hydromel and 7Up! Welcome where skewers stands still Welcome to the barbecue of the Gods The Barbecue of the Gods But as the champagne they uncorked The prophecy was fulfilled Sauron the master of the onion rings Made all of our barbecue sauce expire So they sent us on a hunt for the grocery store But then we lost our way We were lost on our quest for Carrefour Searching for the gourmet barbecue sauce! Oh they'll be lost forevermore One Onion Ring to appetize them all One Onion Ring to main dish them all One Onion Ring to garnish them all And in the plat du jour bind’ em all (he’s dangerous) One Onion Ring to grease them all One Onion Ring to gormandize them all One Onion Ring to fatten them and bind’ em there In the land where the obese lie We will find a way To destroy the onion ring Dip it in the Bourguignonne An offer to the picnic gods Yes we will find the way To spread fromage de chevre On our baguette And finally move on to the dessert! We were lost on our quest for Carrefour Searching for the gourmet barbecue sauce! Will we ever reach the counters? Will they accept our Mastercard? Will we ever cross the sliding doors? Will we ever come back home again? Still I smell the scent of skewers Cucify! Crucify! Still I hear the screams of thousands Roastify! Roastify! One day we will taste the delicious Michelin awarded creme chantilly Made by careful and knowledgable hands of Frigg With a ancient runic receipe We were lost on our quest for Carrefour Searching for the holy barbecue sauce!
18.
Raise sails, head to the open sea Under captain Schettino's command Heeding the proud and stuttering call Of Pippi Longstocking and Saddam Hussein From Cape Town, through lake Baikal Across Castel di Sangro To the enchanted valleys of European Alps Where reptilians play Subbuteo with Bush Cows, fire, demons – you cannot stop our march Piggybacking Eddie Murphy into Liechtenstein Hail to Liechtenstein! Hail to Liechtenstein! Hail to Liechtenstein! We bought a swiss motorway vignette To drive through the A13 Avoiding the checks of the border patrol To be free from customs control Dribbling the sight of old passersby Riding to downtown Schaan, While the busty Liechtensteinerinnen Still inspire us with onanist dreams Our journey's over, and the hardships now are gone Flying free on Hawking wheelchairs to Liechtenstein Hail to Liechtenstein! Hail to Liechtenstein! Hail to Liechtenstein! The highest GDP per person in the world Adjusting by purchase power parity An unemployment rate so ridiculously low It's just 1.5% Levying a flat income tax And a loose corporate fiscal regime Under the sign of the Financial Intelligence Unit Fighting laundering and capital flight Fürstentum Liechtenstein Fürstentum Liechtenstein A business-friendly country you are Prince Hans Adam! For the permit we'll apply To gain timeless residence in Liechtenstein! Hail to Liechtenstein! Hail to Liechtenstein! Hail to Liechtenstein!

about

credits

released November 9, 2018

The bulk of the album's recording session took place at Ivorytears Studios in several phases from June 2016 to August 2017. It was produced, mixed and mastered by Alessandro Del Vecchio, who also contributed as a guest singer in "Hail To Liechtenstein" and keyboard player (wherever they are on the album).

Further credits go to Christian Ice (Temple of Noise Studios, album pre-production, intros & sketches, dubstep on "Opelatole Ecologico"), Marco Sivo (Shelter Recording Studios, choir recordings), Andrea Seveso (guitar editing) and Simone D'Andrea (bass arrangement).

We also thank Fabio Lione (Angra, Rhapsody of Luca Turilli of Fire or whatever it's called that band nowadays) for his contribution in "Barbie MILF Princess Of The Twilight"; Chiara Manese
Ylenia Soprano & Eleonora Penati for the choirs on "... and then I noticed that she was a Gargoyle"; the latter of whom is also responsible for the backing vocals on "Uranus".

Cover & booklet by our mighty singer Potowotominimak (Carlo Alberto Fiaschi), back & cover colouring by Giorgia Lanza (www.giorgialanza.it), album photos by Marco Dazzi (www.marcodazzi.it).

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Nanowar Of Steel Rome, Italy

Parody Metal Band from Rome, Italy, since 2003

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